Weapon of Choice
by Sam Alucard
Summary: Walter is alone with a FatBoy Slim CD . . .


Disclaimer: This morning I woke up and saw that ever-wonderful music video for Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice". Christopher Walken really does have the moves, man!!! First off, I am going to take a slight break from bloodlust, but fear not! a new chappie will be underway shortly! 

This fic is dedicated to my good friend Ashley, my fan fic poster. It's because of her that my fics are up on this site and I'd like to thank her by dedicating this fic to her. Thank you Ash! I massively appreciate what you do and so do Walter and Anderson! Have fun and please don't forget to review! ****************************************************************************** 

Walter, as usual, was the first to wake, dressed in his usual attire and ready for the long day's work that lay ahead of him. As usual, his list of chores to complete was on the small desk and Integra had left a side note that she had left for a brief meeting with her majesty the queen. Walter sighed. 

That was his ever-busy lady. 

He set to work, but felt that it was just too quiet in the old mansion. True, it never seemed to bother him, the silence and tranquility of the large estate, but today - today he felt like being young again. He spotted a CD on Integra's shelf and was about to place it with the rest of her CD's until he saw what it was. His monocle almost popped off in surprise. 

Fatboy Slim - "Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars". 

So his busy lady had a weakness for pop and techno. He chuckled to himself, glad that she was not quite so grown up after all. Shrugging, he popped it in the Sony CD player she had, which was usually filled with classical music to calm her nerves. He closed it and the CD started. 

A jazzy beat it was, lively and toe tapping. Walter cocked his head and listened to the beat. It was rather contagious. He didn't even realize his own foot was tapping on the linoleum to the sound of what was like a record being warped. Then, it was followed by a smooth, jazzy, and utterly lively tune. 

Walter couldn't help but dance to it. 

Don't be shocked by the tone of my voice 

Just got my new weapon, the weapon of choice 

Don't be shocked by the tone of my voice 

Just got my new weapon, the weapon of choice 

Listen to the sound of my voice 

I can chicken al loud, it's the weapon of choice 

Don't be shocked by the tone of my voice 

It's the new weapon, the weapon of choice 

He was dusting the bookshelves and dancing to the beat, grinning like a giddy teenager who had just gotten his first kiss from the prettiest girl in school. For once, he was almost happy that no one was around to see him act so foolishly. 

Foolish? 

No! 

This was actually fun. And Walter was drinking it up without a care in the world as he tossed the dust cloth over his shoulder and looked at the broom with a cocked eyebrow. 

You can go with this, 

Or you can go with that, 

You can go with this, 

Or you can go with that, 

You can go with this, 

Or you can go with that, 

Or you can blow it up 

You can go with this, 

Or you can go with that, 

You can go with this, 

Or you can go with that, 

You can go with this, 

Or you can go with that, 

Or you can blow it up 

He moved across the floor with the broom, sweeping the floor as he almost gracefully twirled with the broom as if it were a lady dancing with him. 

If only it were. 

He was just having a ball. This music was some of the best he had ever heard. He was, after all, growing slightly tired of the depressing violin concertos that radiated from Integra's office. There was just no life in the old house. But now - now there was. 

Walter was in love. 

Head over heals in love. 

Walk without rhythm, 

It won't attract the worm 

Walk without rhythm, 

And it won't attract the worm 

Walk without rhythm, 

And it won't attract the worm 

If you walk without rhythm, 

Ah, you never learn 

Don't be shocked by the tone of my voice 

Just got my new weapon, weapon of choice 

Don't be shocked by the tone of my voice 

Just got my new weapon, weapon of choice 

He tossed the broom away. The next thing that was left was just ridding the ceiling of some cobwebs. He grinned and grabbed up the swifter in the corner of the room and stood on one of the wheeled chairs in the main living quarter. He used the shaft of the swifter to push him across the floor as he cleaned the ceiling, now lip-synching with the lyrics of the song. 

You can go with this, 

Or you can go with that, 

You can go with this, 

Or you can go with that, 

You can go with this, 

Or you can go with that, 

Or you can blow it up 

You can go with this, 

Or you can go with that, 

You can go with this, 

Or you can go with that, 

You can go with this, 

Or you can go with that, 

Or you can blow it up 

Be careful, we don't know them 

Be careful, we don't know them 

Be careful, we don't know them 

Oh, Mary we won't do the thing 

Too big love to the angels of lie 

Yeah, and my girl 

She just don't understand 

Is gone beyond being a man 

But I'm going to hold my cool, 

Because of easy rules 

Yeah, so move on baby, yeah 

Halfway between the gutter and the stars, yeah 

Halfway between the gutter and the stars, yeah 

He jumped off the chair skillfully, tossing the swifter away, the cleaning tool landing with a perfect 'clack' as it rested in it's rightful place on the wall just as the song ended. He looked around, smiling with pure satisfaction. The mansion was clean, spick and span, every nook and cranny. He gave the room he was in an approving nod and stepped out. 

As he did, Integra walked in through the front door. 

"Good morning, Sir Integra." Walter gave a bow to his master, "And how was your audience with her majesty?" 

"It would have been better if the freak chips were not involved." Integra replied, "Please awake Alucard and tell him to meet me in my office." 

"Of course, Sir Integra. That I can do." Walter walked in the direction of the basement as Integra headed into her office. 

Once more, the sultry sound of classical music filled the echoing halls of the mansion. 

'Oh well . . . ' Walter thought, 'There is always tomorrow . . . '


End file.
